Thank you to all who either wrote or called me with positive comments. I’m happy to bring you a brief moment of entertainment in your otherwise boring and mundane existence. You know... it’s not easy being Dweeb.
Take for instance the simple process of shopping. I purchase a vast portion of my inventory on my credit cards. My card of choice is a Sears MasterCard that pays back reward points. The points add up real quick and this year I decided to redeem my points for Gift Certificates. I had enough points to buy several of their largest $750 certificates. The Sears reward program web site was buggy, so I called in to redeem my points.
I get this nice woman on the phone and explain that I wanted some $750 certificates. She swoons and comments that she’s never sold a $750 certificate before. She puts me on hold to speak with her supervisor and after a brief wait comes back to tell me that ‘Sears’ has never sold a $750 certificate before. In fact, they technically don’t exist. What is done is three (3) $250 certificates are rewarded in lieu of each $750 certificate. “Fine by me” I told her, as “it spends like cash.” Oh where that only true.
Terms & conditions. An American tradition. It seems that a) I cannot combine the value of more than three (3) coupons per any single purchase, and b) I have to spend –at least- the face value of all the certificates I’m redeeming per purchase. In other words, I have to buy at least $250 worth of good per certificate used, and I can’t redeem more than $750 in a single purchase. I cannot apply anything towards a Gift Card or cash refund.
Just trying to spend $250 at Sears was a chore for me. Forget the tool department. I’ve got everything I need already and no more room to store new tools. Nothing jumped out at me in the clothing department. Got plenty of clean underwear at home, thank you. Jewelry Dept… what a joke. Don’t need any appliances. I’m not cashing in reward points for a new vacuum clearer no matter what. There’s got to be something cool to buy in a Sears store. One would think you could find something in the Electronics dept. But no… everything was old and outdated. I wanted this cool new combination Sirius satellite Radio/MP3 player that just came out. No luck. How about a new digital camera? None of the high-end models in stock. X-Box 360… keep dreaming.
I had better luck in the bedding dept. And once I had $250 worth of products pulled together and ready to buy, I end up with a cashier, who had to be about 12, that had no idea how to ring-up a gift certificate sale. Enter the floor manager, not originally from this country, with an accent so thick, I could not understand 2 out of 3 words she spoke. I think the fact that it was a denomination bigger than what she’s ever seen before, combined with the shock of seeing a stack of these coupons in my jacket pocket, which freaked her out. I just gave up and left. I’m trying another location tonight.
Moral of story: specify smaller denominations of gift certificates. Back to your pitiful existence.
posted by RaceDweeb @ 2:37 PM
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